AND THERE WAS BLINDING LIGHT
Of all the countless proverbs that have been crafted to encourage us through difficult times; if I had to pick just one that spoke to my soul, not only figuratively but literally, it would most definitely be “just before the sun rises the sky is at its darkest”.
The answer to my personal plea for light, after a long season of utter darkness, came with a personal revelation. As much as I yearn to disclose this out-of-the-ordinary experience which led to the genesis of my additional senses, I struggle to find the right words to encapsulate that surreal moment.
This experience began with a deep quest to discover the purpose of my existence; I knew that I had to answer my call to adventure – a revolutionary transformation of Self!
I knew it was the right time for me to embark on this journey as concealed and exploratory as it seemed; so, without much hesitation, I made the startling decision of abruptly uprooting myself from the rat race after almost 9 years of good strides in my corporate career. My search for meaning was set in motion.
A year into this adventure, early signs of withdrawal were swiftly followed by the feeling of regret, shame and hopelessness as I felt completely lost without a compass to direct me to my North Star.
Every path I set foot on was deceitful, initially disguising itself as the key to my purpose which I fuelled with passion and optimism, only to be rewarded with misfortune. As the frustration and disappointment mounted, one turn after another led me into the darkest of the night sky.
Despite the consuming darkness, I was armed for a fight! I sought for inner strength from the depth of my soul; I could not give up so easily, not until I found my own life redeeming elixir.
I searched amidst the darkness for my lost compass, at this point almost out of breath, stumbling and falling while gasping for air. My spirit was willing, but the pain was now unbearable for my body; she was ready to kick the bucket. She may have even seen her own death but was somehow resurrected by some potent force emanating from within, thrusting her out of the night!
Suddenly, I woke up fully conscious of my surroundings. I was at home lying on my picnic blanket on the deck of my patio. It was just after noon on a winter Sunday, an afternoon I will never forget! I felt very warm, which was odd as it was the middle of winter and I recall being out on the deck in search of some sunrays to bathe in balmy respite from the July Jozi Chills.
I soon realised that the sun glared directly on me when I tried to open my eyes, squinting due to its blinding light. My instinct was to close my eyes, but my eyelids would not budge; instead, my pupils dilated further to take in more of that blaze. Now in a hypnotic state, my eyes were gazing into the sun, fully captivated by the colours of the rainbow which were radiating from its continuous rhythm.
Truly the light is sweet, and a pleasant thing it is for the eyes to behold the sun: but if a man live many years, and rejoice in them all; yet let him remember the days of darkness; for they shall be many. All that cometh is vanity.
I lost part of my vision for a few weeks thereafter, but my eyes had beheld the sun and will forever be engulfed by its stark brilliance! I had finally found my compass and this was just the beginning of my journey to spiritual enlightenment.
2 Responses
Captivating , love the vulnerability. It’s been fun hanging in your lounge. Keep it coming. A fan..
Thanks so much! I am pleased to hear that you are staying captivated and hopefully chilling at the edge of your seat in my lounge due to the rawness of content;)
In this new season, do continue to stay engaged and connect as we explore further our connection to light through recreations.
Light plays a potent role as a source of hope and creates endless opportunities so may light provide a means to gaze through the gaps in the earth left by ancient eruptions toward the future because nothing is impossible!