FREEDOM, WHAT IS YOUR PRICE?
It was the beginning of a new decade in the millennium. I had just turned 22 the month before, as well as completed my tertiary education (might I add with academic honorary colours) and was about to purchase my very own freedom!
Does the argument I pose, that freedom has a price, sound outrageous / exaggerated? Yes, we have, in most parts of the world, left behind scars of some of the darkest chapters of human history – slavery. But was that an exchange trade for freedom?
Over the last two centuries, our heroes have changed the course of history, some had to pay the ultimate price with their lives but does that mean freedom is now our birth right? Do you feel freedom inextricably intertwined in your very essence?
Freedom, by definition, is the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants. In our current world, this only begins, at the earliest, once you are no longer classified as a minor. Some receive on their 21st birthday, a key which symbolises that you officially hold the “key” to your own life.
I was not one of those who received a symbolic key and even when I had painstakingly earned both my degrees, a career defining job and my one-way ticket out of the cocoon I was suffocating in, I still had to pay a price for any key I needed to act, speak or think.
With a well-groomed childhood behind me and merit on my side, I outlined my freedom agenda as New Year’s Eve approached, totally thrilled that freedom was knocking at the door. This was a pivotal moment in my life and I had to be careful with my choices; each key I acquired, as it was going to define who I was going to become.
All of a sudden, this thrilling moment became scary and an unexpected wave of fear consumed me on the verge of my leap into freedom. As uncomfortable as the confined space surrounding my cocoon felt, I was unsettled about my level of readiness for my breakout.
As the unsettling feeling eventually started to wane, my leap was heralded by an enticing call to freedom which was initially subtle in the form of whispering thoughts throwing out colourful ideas of each liberating item I might require to craft my new world. The longer I dwelt on these thoughts the more audible the voice became which drove me to really ponder on the stark bareness of my existence and the redundant form of my possessions.
The voice, now as loud as a train, had come alive with a prescriptive agenda. Item 1: Own your private space (key: get a bachelors apartment); Item 2: Be in the driving seat (key: buy a Yaris); Item 3: Upgrade your look (key: change your wardrobe, hairdo and maybe try on some makeup); and so the script grew item after item (key after key) into an insurmountable cost that couldn’t fit into the boundaries of my tiny pay cheque as a first year articled clerk.
Succumbing to the pressure of the voice in my head, I went ahead with the script, paying the unaffordable price for the key to each liberating item. I neither paused to decipher the true author of the script nor did I question if perhaps it was just a different packaging for the same old external force sucking me in.
My appalling naivety led me to believe that I had purchased my freedom as I slowly transitioned into a new social class – the middle class with a new title, Miss Independent! I acted, spoke and thought like one well attuned to what the hierarchal system dictated was the path to being successful despite its heaviness and overwhelming effect.
Now, as I consciously pause to unplug and reflect on chapters from my past, allow me to question these perplexities: Should freedom be expensive or burdensome? Is the voice in my head partly to blame?
8 Responses
Very thought provoking. It is so easy to buy into the idea that our success and freedom is determined by things we have and achievements. I think freedom and success should be determined by our own introspection and discovering what these terms mean for us on an individual and soul-specific basis, and not by what society prescribes.
Thanks for your thoughts. I really think that introspection is really vital and self-discovery is key in defining our successes especially.
Wow!! Really deep!!!! Got me thinking. Is our definition of freedom really freedom indeed or a perception of what others think freedom should look like. Actually, it seems freedom can give birth to the beginning of slavery – been caught up in the yoke of expectations and unrealistic untamed desires, with no accountability. So, I think freedom can be super burdensome and expensive.
Thanks for lending your thoughts. I concur, freedom can give birth to the beginning of slavery! Now, that is deep!!!
Very profound. Keep taking us on this journey with you, it is illuminating a lot of our own experiences that we need to take a pause and reflect upon. Thank you for welcoming us into your personal space, looking forward to the next installments
Thanks so much… buckle up, ‘cos we are about to experience some turbulence!
Your article offered a poignant reflection on the transformative journey towards freedom. I was captivated by your honest exploration of the sudden shift from excitement to fear, and how the enticing call to freedom evolved into a prescriptive agenda. Your insights into the pressures we face to conform and the true cost of liberation were thought-provoking. It takes courage to question the script and consider whether external forces are truly guiding us towards fulfillment. Well done on shedding light on these profound aspects of the human experience.
I absolutely agree!